[TRIGGER WARNING FOR VIOLENCE, SIZISM]
A woman’s worst nightmare? That’s pretty easy. Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, “They are afraid women will laugh at them.” When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, “We’re afraid of being killed.”
That sums it up
This reminds me of a discussion we had in school, and one girl was talking about living in fear of her safety because she is a girl, and this guy chimed in and was all “It’s hard for guys too! I’m so awkward around girls! It’s embarrassing!” Yeah, not the same thing, exactly?
This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them.
I think that says a lot.
Reblogging this again because it’s important and the commentary is excellent.
Nothing was beautiful and everything hurt.
I pull this quote out to all ignorant people in terms of feminism.
Why do girls always feel like they have to apologize for giving an opinion or taking up space in the world? Have you ever noticed that?” Nicole asked. “You go on websites and some girl leaves a post and if it’s longer than three sentences or she’s expressing her thoughts about some topic, she usually ends with, ‘Sorry for the rant’ or ‘That may be dumb, but that’s what I think.
When people want to insult a woman, they say she’s chubby, slutty, and/or aging poorly. In other words, she enjoys herself.
I cannot understand a society that is more afraid of a man in a dress than a man in a soldier’s uniform.
The following is an excerpt from an article on Irritable Male Syndrome found at www.medicinenet.com
…There is the assumption that women are hormonal but men are moved more by logic. But the truth is men are as hormonally driven as women. In fact, men have a number of hormonal cycles:
1) Men’s testosterone, for instance, varies and goes up and down four or five times an hour.
2) There are daily cycles with testosterone being higher in the morning and lower at night.
3) Men have a monthly hormonal cycle that is unique to each man, but men can actually track their moods and recognize they are related to hormonal changes through the month.
4) We know that there are seasonal cycles with testosterone higher in November and lower in April.
5) We know about hormonal cycles with males during adolescence, but also the years between 40 and 55 have what we call male menopause or andropause.
6) Finally, we know there are hormonal changes in men going through IMS, related to stress in a man’s life.
“What we’ve found is that one of the primary symptoms is denial. That is, men think the problem is anywhere other than in themselves.”
I’ve been saying that for ages! I notice that my partner and my brother often get what I used to have when I menstruated: PMS-like symptoms. However, they acted like it was linked to something else, because being driven by hormones was so feminine and therefore inferior (not that they actually thought like that, but it’s what people are taught throughout their lives).
In my mind, the biggest problem with that “key” analogy is the idea that female sexuality is something that’s supposed to be “protected” and that men are supposed to “take”. It’s the purity myth and the predator/prey dynamic encapsulated in a neat little metaphor. Women are degraded if they “give up” their sexuality and men are accomplished if they seize it.
#The key analogy, if you’ve never heard of it, is that it’s okay that men who sleep with many people are studs and women who do are sluts, because a key that opens a bunch of locks is a master key, but a lock that opens from a bunch of keys is a shitty lock… because penises are keys, obviously. I mean, it never made any sense, but this is a good explanation why.
Financially, we’re screwed. We all know women suffer from a wage gap, but that gap widens once women become mothers — even more if they have the audacity to be single mothers, or non-white. A Cornell University study showed that a child-free woman is twice as likely to be hired as a mother with an identical resume, and is offered about $11,000 more in starting salary. We’re the only industrialized nation without paid maternity leave, and national child care costs are through the roof. At home, it’s not much better. According to a 2008 study from the University of Michigan, when you get a husband, you also get seven extra hours of housework a week (whereas when men get married, they lose an hour of housework), and mothers do on average of 18 more hours a week of housework than fathers.
Then, of course, there’s the social pressure: Are you breastfeeding? Co-sleeping? Baby-wearing? (Though so long as you’re not Tiger Mothering, you may be safe.)
Jessica Valenti, Why Mom Is Miserable (2011)
Yet another reason why feminists are SEXIEST.
Oh shut the fuck up. Women without kids are hired because they aren’t taking time off all the time because their brat is sick, or leaving early because Susie has a recital or Jimmy has soccer. And don’t tell me how YOU work 90 hours a week, or YOU and YOUR friends work two jobs and never take days off. There is enough evidence to show that you are the exception.
You wanted the spawn, and if you didn’t, abortions are 500 bucks. So don’t complain to those of us with our priorities in order about your inability to get a job that works around your reproductive choices. That’s not how business works.
Really? Really? Women don’t deserve to have a job and be paid the same as everyone else just because they’re mothers? Women take off work for their kids mostly for reasons due to institutionalized sexism.
And you don’t even address the housework thing. Eighteen more hours a week picking up after everyone else is kind of a big deal. And why is the woman doing so much more housework, even when her and her husband both have jobs? Hint: institutionalized sexism.
So don’t dismiss this entire problem as “Pshh, women and their fucking kids.” People are allowed to become parents. It may not be the choice you make, but saying “You’ll be less likely to get a job, and if you do get it, you’ll be paid less, so DEAL WITH IT, guess you should have thought of that before BREEDING” is pretty hurtful to the many, many women out there who dare to dream of a world where they can have children AND a job. Crazy, I know!
Advice for young feminists? Do something else besides feminism. I’m serious. The feminist blogosphere is oversaturated in my opinion. Please, find something else you love and take feminist theory there. It gets lonely over here in tech and video games – I have a great crew of other feminists but we are a little island in a vast sea. We need more feminist minded business bloggers, feminist theory wielding finance bloggers. Labor organizers with a feminist lens blogging. Can you imagine what Deadspin (the sports blog) would look like with a feminist on staff? Restructure writes about science, tech and feminism – join her! Publish a blog doing literary criticism with a feminist lens! Take on the NYT! Talk about class issues and feminism. Whatever it is, apply your feminism in a different space.
Latoya Petersen is my hero.
That’s fantastic. It’s also roughly my answer when anyone asks me why, with my points-of-view on life, the universe, and everything, I would want to work in national defense. There needs to be more people like me in that field, that’s why.
I love this. I’ve struggled with this in the past, thinking that I needed to be a Professional Feminist in some way for it to count, but I’ll tell you, the nonsense with that gang-rape case out of Texas cured me of that, because it was at that moment that I realized I could be of greater use working in a mainstream newsroom - writing and editing news stories that tens of thousands of people of all political persuasions and ideologies read - than I ever could be as a blogger preaching to the proverbial choir.*
*Not that I don’t think femibloggers are useless - on the contrary - but you get my point.
I need to find more pieces by Latoya Peterson. I really like this.
At the very heart of sexist thought is the notion that the bodies we are born with ought to dictate our character, our behaviour, our appearance, our choices, the nature of our relationships and the work of our lives. Feminism puts forward the still-radical notion that this is not the case. Feminism holds that gender identity, rather than being written in our genes, is an emotional, personal and sexual state of being that can be expressed in myriad different ways that encompass and extend beyond the binary categories of ‘man’ and ‘woman’. Feminism holds that prescribed gender roles are a tyranny that no-one - whether trans, cis, male, female or intersex - should be forced to conform to in order to prove their identity, their validity or their human worth.
Meat Market: Female Flesh Under Capitalism, Laurie Penny (via petitefeministe)
Ah, Laurie Penny, a self-proclaimed feminist, queer, and reprobate. I had such a huge crush on her back in the day. At first I was all, “Oh, you’re so cool and progressive, you must be a SOAS graduate!” but actually she went to Oxford so she belongs to Jamie’s ilk rather than mine.
She has some issues, like slut-shaming when she criticises the burlesque industry as a whole, and some intersectionality fail. They rest alongside the other very worthy work she’s done, like her reports on the London student protests, so I’m not quite so unreservedly infatuated with all of her work anymore but treat the whole with a more suitable critical distance.